Member of the reality-based community of progressive (not anonymous) Massachusetts blogs
I’ve known Dee Tension, going on 20 years. I always enjoy his perspective, especially when he delivers one of his ‘man on the street’ reports.
This entry comes from Dee’s Facebook page. Click in, if you have a FB account and read the words of a man who ‘keeps it real.’ - Jack
Ah Umass Lowell Graduation. The day when downtown is flooded by terrified parents who think campus is the only safe place in town. They’re lost but won’t ask for directions. They look at their maps and phones afraid someone is going to stab them so they can’t concentrate which causes people who’ve been married for 30 years to start yelling at each other.
“It’s says go left Walter”.
“No it doesn’t Claire. I think i know how to use GPS thank you”.
I ask “are you lost?” and moms clutch their purses and husbands put their arms around their wives. They park at the first garage they see and then reluctantly walk through downtown waiting for the promised land that is The Tsongas Arena Center Coliseum. They finally see it in the distance and literally say out loud “Oh thank God”.
Quit insulting my town you sheltered numbskulls. No one is going to mug you. Don’t you know we give the crackheads and gangs Saturday mornings off? Believe me I feel much more afraid when I accidentally wander into Westford and can’t find a drive through restaurant or when I go to Concord and my bottle of water is illegal or Wellesely where the cops ask me what my purpose is for being in Wellesly and I answer “where’s the nearest liquor store” which gets me “escorted” to the town line.
Lowell is a real place where real things go down. Things like museums and restaurants and a production of Glengarry Glenross. Oh by the way your crappy kid flipped me off and pissed on my front steps in last week’s pub crawl.
So take a deep breath, enjoy your stay, have a bite to eat at Cobblestones or La Boniche and enjoy your sons and daughters as they celebrate their very significant achievement. It’s sonny and warm and you will always remember how pretty Lowell was on this day.
Also don’t leave your purse, GPS or brief case in your car.
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